
(update on blog post)
& outcome of Cornea Transplant Surgery
Original post:
http://www.amyjanecooks.com/i-have-a-parasite-eating-my-cornea/
That is a perfect way to describe how I finally had to look at everything when I came out of surgery. When I came out of my corneal transplant they told me that they had to take my iris (the part of your eye that creates your eye color). When they got into the removal of my cornea for the transplant my existing iris had fused with my cornea. So… they had to take all of it. That was shocking to me. It was something I had not anticipated being a possibility. But it was now my reality. I will never have my brown eye back. EVER. Yes, possibly in the future I could get a colored contact to cosmetically look more normal, that’s only if my eye heals. But my eye will never naturally be the same. It’s weird. I had come to the realization that I may not see again, but I had thought I would look normal again. So now knowing that I would never look like my normal self again, and I may not see … was a BLOW. I sank into a funk for a while, bursting into tears very easily, just generally depressed. It wasn’t until I talked to one of my girlfriends that has dealt with breast cancer and the loss of her breast. She said.. I just had to surrender to what was happening. And so… that is what I have done. I could be mad, I could be bitter. But we all bear scars from life. And this will be one of mine. It’s like a battle scar. You only have this proof of life from living life. And for that I am always grateful, And I chose to surrender and be thankful.
I still cannot see out of my right eye. The last appointment was a little more positive. Your eye is supposed to have pressure between 12- 22. My eye has been very low. Like a 3. It is so low the machine used to measure the pressure can’t get a good reading. So, my doctor does it by his finger. So, the new reading is a “guesstimate”.. but it was around 8. Which is great news for me! So hopefully it will continue in a positive direction. They had been concerned that if it kept going down …basically my eye would just crash and burn.. DIE. But with it going up…. Maybe it will have a chance to live. It is really positive. Perhaps it will heal itself and I will get some sight back. That is my hope. To all of you that have prayed for me, I am so grateful, and I hope you will still keep me in your prayers because it is a long ways from over.
It has been overwhelming that support I have received and I am so very thankful to everyone. It means so much to me. I just keep hoping and praying I will one day see again out of my right eye.
I have to surrender that there will be a new me. Different, but it doesn’t make me any worse. Just embattled. Scars. Life is full of scars. And this is one of mine.
I now look back at photos( like the one below- pre parasite invasion) and get a little misty. I loved my eyes. It is hard to not have one of them after 48 years of having it. So …you can say goodbye to my old eyes! But I’m still me, just a little scarred, but not beaten.!! I will continue to try to be thankful and grateful for this wonderful life I live!
12 Comments
Amy
I have so much emotion after reading your blog. You are brave and a beautiful human being! You inspire me to get up everyday and count my blessings. There are just no guarantees.
Much love and Many prayers
Amy, continued prayers for you sweet friend. You are an inspiration to us all. I admire your strength and courage. Stay strong. Prayers and love for you always. Xoxo
Amy, you have been heavy on my heart and mind since I had read your last blog about your story and you were going into surgery very soon. Reading your latest update was definitely not what I was hoping was God’s plan for your eye, but like you said bf we don’t always know what his plan is. When you talk about surrender it makes me so proud of you and see the strong Amy that I knew so long ago and new that you would always be such a incredible role model to others and that is what you are! Love you and so sorry for all the pain you have endured. ❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Sweet Amy, I continue to pray for you and your healing. You have and are still allowing God to accomplish much in and through your life. That is no small thing. You are still beautiful on the outside, and I think you are becoming more beautiful on the inside. God is building a story of faith through your life; that is your testimony. Prayers for blessings to continue and be multiplied to you. <3
Oh Amy – I am amazed and humbled by your strength. You will always be a beautiful woman no matter what – inside and out. I keep you close in my prayers. I pray for continued healing, your sight and your strength. Know your friends are right by your side (even if you haven’t seen them (aka me) for many years) ❤️❤️❤️
Amy, you are ALWAYS beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
I had to recreate me after a stroke, etc. Always miss the old, but at some point you accept the compliments you get on the new you. Love. Debby King-Nold
Amy I’m still praying for you. My heart goes out to you. God is our Healer so we can count even what seems like a huge problem to glorify him. It’s part of your testimony now to praise him through the storm. I’m also Goin g through eye problems &. Have almost no vision in my right eye so I do understand a lot of what you’re going through so I ask the Lord to Bless you & heal you in Jesus name.
Blessings
Ginny Drews
(a friend of your Moms)
Beauty is within Amy, Your inner beauty, attitude on life is not diminished and they makes your outer beauty even more beautiful. I’ve just learned of your condition, so you will be in prayers when I do my morning bike rides (keeps my mind on people who are dear, even though now always near. Will light a candle for you this weekend also, Best wishes for a full recovery, tm
Amy. My prayers will continue for you. After reading your blog, I realize how strong you are. Your strength will help you face this unfortunate happing in your life. Your kindness and smile will help you heal. God bless you
Amy, you have been in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for sharing your story. You have always been beautiful on the inside and outside and still are no matter what happens with your eye! I pray God continues to bless you with continued healing and improvement with your vision. I am sure your amazing positive spirit is helping you heal as well. I will continue to keep you in my prayers 😘
Amy, I am so very sorry you are still having to struggle with this on daily. You way you have handled this tragedy can help many others facing hardships face it with grace and hope. I continue to pray for you everyday.
Amy, I am so very sorry you are still having to struggle with this daily. the way you have handled this tragedy can help many others facing hardships face it with grace and hope. I continue to pray for you everyday.